10 MORE WEEKS...

until I go back to school. I have a feeling it will be a busy semester for me. I'm going to take Biology , Chemistry , Anatomy & Physiology, College Algebra, and Freedom in American Society. It will be 18 credits, which isn't that much, but they're mostly science in math courses and all the sciences have a lab. Biology will be really easy and I've already taken the second half of anatomy and it was not that hard. Math is my week point though, so algebra and chemistry are going to be the more difficult classes for me. I did really well in Intro to Chem, but that was 4 years ago. I do remember a lot though.

As far as CRON is concerned, I haven't been weighing everything and calculating all my nutrients, but I've been doing pretty well. I am losing weight, so I know I'm not going over calories and I am eating really healthy foods.

I'm 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had my birthday yesterday. It was really nice. I had to work in the evening, but I went out with my mom for Indian food at lunch. YUM!! I ate more than my share, but still didn't do bad yesterday.

Today my mom, my brother and I went to the beach with a friend of ours. It is a gorgeous, but hot day here. The ocean water felt so good. Tonight I'm just vegging out, doing nothing. I did get a movie for my birthday, The Pursuit of Happiness, so I may watch it.

Eight Random Facts About Me...

Okay, so April has tagged me. Eight random facts about me...

1. I am obsessed with being early. To me, if I am on time, I'm late. I get to work fifteen minutes early every day and when I'm in school, I'm always to class at least 10 minutes early.

2. I am very picky about the silverware I will eat off. We have a few different sets, but I will only eat off one of the sets. If someone sets the table and gives me silverware from one of the other sets, I will get up and switch it out.

3. I love getting down to the nitty-gritty when I clean. My favorite cleaning tool is a toothpick. I love getting all the gross gunk out of little hard-to-reach cracks and crevices.

4. I require a lot of sleep and sometimes my sleep schedule is whacky. Sometimes I go to bed at 7:00 PM and sometimes I don't go to bed until 1:00 AM. Last week, I slept from 7:00 PM until 8:00 AM. I sometimes even take a 2 hour nap a few hours before I go to bed.

5. I love getting sore after a work out. If I don't get sore, I don't feel I accomplished anything. And it's fun to be sore because it feels so good to stretch my muscles.

6. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my school work. If I get a 99 on a test, I will be disappointed that it's not a 100. In fact, this past semester in my anatomy class, I got a 113 out of 115 with everything above 100 being extra credit. I was still disappointed that I missed two extra credit points.

7. My pet peeve is when people walk slowly in the grocery store and I get stuck behind them. When I enter the grocery store, I am a woman on a mission and I speed-walk. I guess this applies to other realms too. I also walk really fast around the campus at college. One time, one of my friends was trying to catch me so we could talk for a minute and when he finally got my attention, he said, "Man, you are on a mission!"

8. I drive my family crazy talking about anatomy and physiology. When my grandma had a fever, I started telling her how fevers are a part of the body's nonspecific defenses and I told her about interleukin 1 being the main pyrogen in the body. I talked about fevers intensifying the actions of the interferons, etc. When I went swimming, I was all excited to tell my mom, upon noticing my fingers being wrinkled like raisins, that the sebum had come off my skin and it was absorbing water, hence the water pockets between my dermis and my epidermis. My brother gets so annoyed at me and one time, he swallowed some water and choked on it and said to me, "Tell me what was going on in my body that caused me to choke." So I started in on how the epiglottis covers the glottis when you swallow so you don't aspirate food or water into the trachea, etc. His response was, "Oh my gosh, shut up!" It's so exciting to me though.

Some pictures...

This is a picture of me when I was thin.

This is me with my Mom (in the pink) and my brother a few weeks ago. I point out to you who my mom is because some people think we are sisters. Anyhow, that's me when I'm chubby.

I guess it's been a week since I've updated! Time flies. I'm doing well with CRON. I can't say it's been easy. Every night after dinner I get intense sugar cravings and I feel desperate for something sweet. I feel like I'm going to go insane if I don't have something. But if I can hold off for a few hours, it starts to ease up. I'm really proud of myself because I've been waiting a few hours when I get that feeling (even though I feel like I'm going to die without some sweets) and then it eases up and if I can just go to bed, in the morning, I won't even want any sugar anymore. Last night I told myself, "If you can wait until morning, you can have it," because I know in the morning, I will have no desire to eat any junk food. So I'm getting through it all right.

I haven't been using Cron-O-Meter very much lately. I'm trying to live as frugally as possible this summer so I can save most of the money I make for school, so I'm eating frozen bean and vegetable soups out of the freezer. When my grandma was here, she made so much soup we could never eat it all, so our freezer is full of frozen homemade soup. I have no way of accurately counting the calories in it since I don't even know everything that's in it let alone how much of each ingredient would be in a serving. I wish I could get a more accurate calorie and nutrient count, but there's nothing I can really do about it. I am losing weight though and I know I'm not overconsuming calories because I'm not eating that much.

Doing well...

Everything is going well with the job and with CRON. I made my delicious collard wraps today. Oh my goodness! I think that has to be my favorite CRON meal.

Today:
1043 calories
40 grams protein
148 grams carbs
40 grams lipids

Vitamins 74%
Vitamin A 475%
Folate 122%
B1 136%
B2 103%
B3 79%
B5 61%
B6 124%
B12 2%
Vitamin C 124%
Vitamin D 0%
Vitamin E 48%
Vitamin K 644%

Minerals 88%
Calcium 46%
Copper 321%
Iron 64%
Magnesium 151%
Manganese 212%
Phosphorous 148%
Potassium 69%
Selenium 744%
Sodium 141%
Zinc 101%

EFA's
Omega 3 554%
Omega 6 83%

My orientation...

I had my orientation at my new job today. I think I'm really going to like it there. Everyone who works there is so nice and even the managers really put me at ease. It's such a nice environment and everybody is just so friendly. I filled out all my paperwork, learned the policies, learned the table numbers, and even got to try the food. It ended up working out fine with CRON because I was way under calories ( I had only eaten about 445 cals) when I went there, so I had plenty to spare. I sampled a couple different dishes and they were excellent. They serve Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Malaysian, Vietnamese, and Singapore.

So that's my news. Tomorrow I start training. I'm going to be working Monday through Friday from 11:00-4:30, and hopefully once I'm trained they'll let me do a double shift once or twice a week. They seem pretty flexible about that. And they seem very open to letting me try out serving once I'm trained on hostessing. I'm very excited.

I start my job tomorrow!

Wish me well. I hope it goes well and I enjoy it. I went to Target tonight to try to find some clothes. I have to wear black bottoms and a blouse. I have lots of casual clothes, but not many dressy things. And not much of anything that fits me since I've gained so much weight in the past year. I used to wear a size 4 less than two years ago and now I wear a 10. I gain weight so easily. But it won't be a problem for long because I'm doing really well on CRON. Anyhow, all that to say that I didn't find much I like at Target. I found one blouse. I'm going to go to the mall tomorrow and find some more clothes and some shoes.

I'm really tired, so I'm headed to bed. I really think I could sleep 12-14 hours a day if I let myself!

I'm home

Finals are over and I maintained my 4.0 this semester!!! Yeah! I also found a job today. I'm going to be a hostess at an Asian restaurant in downtown West Palm Beach in this outdoor mall of sorts called City Place. I'm starting on Tuesday. I'm so glad I found something easily and I didn't have to waste a bunch of time applying for jobs.

I'm doing really well with my diet, though I must admit that I'm not eating enough because I'm simply not hungry. Maybe my body wants to melt off my fat before I will start getting hungry like a normal person. But then, I'm not supposed to let my weight drop too quickly. I'm just so impatient. I know I shouldn't lose weight too quickly, but I just want to be rid of it NOW!!!

Almost done with finals...

Tomorrow I take my last final at 8:00 AM. Then I'm done for the semester. It was really a great semester for me and I learned a lot. I can't wait to be back in classes in the fall. Sounds crazy, I know, but I love school.

As far as CRON, everything is going well. I'm feeling great and I'm looking forward to having more variety in my diet once I'm home from school. I'm very limited in what I can eat in the cafeteria and I basically eat the same exact salad for lunch every day. I'm hungry for some different greens besides spinach (though I love spinach) and I'm hungry for some steamed vegetables. I don't eat the ones in the cafeteria because they're smothered in margarine. Ugh!

All right. I'm going to bed now. I'm so tired. I don't know why I've been so sleepy lately, but all I want to do is sleep. I even took a two hour nap this afternoon and still I'm ready for bed. Good night.

Did well today...

Finally, I did pretty well today. I ate healthy and stayed within calorie limits. And no junk food. Yeah! I was severely tempted, but I was too lazy to go out and get in the car and go to the store to get something to eat because my car is parked about a quarter of a mile away from my dorm. I didn't feel like walking out there. Plus, I was pretty tired, so I just took a nap instead. Once I woke up from my nap, I didn't want to eat anymore. If I can hold out long enough, the urge to eat junk does go away.

Okay, back to studying. My anatomy and physiology final exam is on Monday.

Confessions...

I have a confession to make. I've been putting off writing on my blog because I did not do well last week. I'm now forcing myself to admit it. Monday and Tuesday I felt like I did good, but I didn't eat nearly enough (only about half of what I should have eaten), so by Wednesday I was ravenous even though I hadn't felt hungry on Monday or Tuesday and I ate too much. Then since then I've just been eating all kinds of crap. I know you guys are probably tired of hearing me whine about not doing good. I didn't want to write this because I don't want you to think, "Oh gosh, there she goes again. She's not going to last for long with CRON." I really want to do it because I know how good I feel and I'm excited about life and I want to be here a long time because there's so much I want to do to help people. The addictions to sugar and fat and salt are just so strong sometimes. I'm really frustrated with myself because I feel like a failure. I KNOW food won't make me happy and I'll just feel depressed after I eat it, so why do I do it? I don't understand, but it's got to come to a stop. I wish we were made so that we didn't eat. Then life would be so much easier.

Went to the doctor

I went to the doctor today and he did not feel any superficial swollen lymph nodes. He said the deep ones may be swollen. I told him it feels really swollen and achey and sensitive. He prescribed a CAT scan for me so we can see what's going on, but he really does not think it's anything serious. Now I just have to find a place that will accept my insurance (I have insurance through my school and every place I've called doesn't accept it).

Having so much fun...

I love my digital scale. I'm having such a great time with it, though it does take me a lot longer to eat now. Yesterday afternoon, it took me an hour to prepare and weigh my food and eat it!!! I'm still stuck on the collard wraps. When I find a food I really like I tend to eat it as a major part of my diet for a long time. It's like I get on a kick. Last summer I got on a fig kick and I was eating them for dinner every night!

My inguinal lymph nodes have been really swollen the past week and a half. My groin area was hurting before that, but then it got worse. It all started in January, when I went out and ran 4 miles after not having run for months. I started having groin pain on the right side and I figured it would go away. It got somewhat better, but it never completely went away. Then last week, when I strayed from CRON and ate a bunch of junk food, it got worse and now my lymph nodes are really swollen. It's not that painful for the most part, but sometimes it does hurt a little when I walk or run. It's preventing me from running in the mornings because running irritates it so much. So basically the only exercise I can do is swimming and rebounding (they seem to help). In the mornings, it feels pretty good, but in the evenings, it really bothers me and last night, it wasn't just my groin area, but it was radiating down my leg and around my hip into my lower back. That makes me wonder if it's something more than just swollen lymph nodes. Anyhow, I hope it disappears soon. I keep thinking of going to the doctor, but then the next morning I feel better (it doesn't hurt in the morning) and I decide not to go to the doctor. Maybe I should just go, but I don't want to have to pay a whole bunch of money to get tests or whatever they want to do. Anyhow....I guess that's all for now. I have a bunch of homework I need to work on.

Finally...

I finally got the digital kitchen scale I wanted. I had so much fun measuring my food and putting it into Cron-O-Meter today. And finally, I'm back on a really good track.
Today I had:
Breakfast: nothing-not hungry
Lunch: salad (spinach, mushrooms, banana pepper rings, carrots, 1/2 cup kidney beans, 1/2 cup garbanzo beans)
Dinner: 2 collard wraps (collard leaves stuffed with hummus, alfalfa sprouts, onion, carrot, sugar snap peas, cauliflower, canned artichokes, ground flaxseed, and salsa)

Wow! The collard wraps were so delicious! It's my new favorite CRON meal. I love being creative and making up new recipes.

I have been in such a wonderful mood today. I feel so happy and positive. Life is great! Oh, yeah and my mom started doing CRON today, so that's good news.

Don't let them take away our freedom...

Your option to choose alternatives to main stream medicine may be taken away!!!
Please take time to sign and forward this important message to the FDA. Thanks!!! There is a crisis in health freedom. On April 30, 2007 the FDA will close the public comment period on a "Guidance" which will classify every alternative practice as medicine so that only licensed physicians can carry out the procedure AND vitamins, minerals, herbs, etc., will suddenly become "untested drugs" which will be forbidden. Bad? Real Bad! But public outcry can stop this assault on your health and your freedom. Spread the word! Tell everyone in your Circle of Influence, professionals, alternative practitioners, nutrient and herb companies, everyone! Let them know how important their participation is to make sure the FDA backs off from this repressive course.

Please sign the petition and share this link with them and urge them to take action: http://www.tinyurl.com/2u7ghc Yours in health and freedom, Rima E. Laibow, MD Medical Director Natural Solutions Foundation www.HealthFreedomUSA.org
- Gisela Hoffman

I did it!!!!!!!!!

I got myself back on track with CRON yesterday. I'm so excited. I didn't end up fasting. I was going to, but then around lunch time, my blood sugar started to drop and I was thinking, "Hmmm...I have some chips and some vegan cheese I could eat." Then I thought, "No, that's junk food. I'm not going to eat that." So I went to the cafeteria and got some fruit and a salad. I'm so glad I did it and finally got back on track. The first day is the hardest. It should be easy from here.

Having a hard time

I've been having a hard time since I got off track on Monday. I keep resolving to do well, then I seem to give up and say, "Oh, I'll start back on tomorrow. Just one more day." All I've been wanting to do is eat junk food. I'm so frustrated about it. Part of the problem is that I'm a perfectionist and I'm an all-or-nothing person. So what happens is that if I eat something that I consider to be less than ideal, even if it's not a huge deal, then I tend to get all discouraged and totally give up. For example, today I ate salad dressing on my salad at lunch and I felt like I failed because the salad dressing was sugary and fattening. So I thought to myself, "Well, I already failed today, so I guess I might as well go ahead and eat whatever I want the rest of the day." So I end up eating more than I need when if I had just gotten over the salad dressing and been good, I would have still stayed within my calorie limits in spite of the salad dressing. I don't know why I have to be so all-or-nothing. I hate it. I hate the way I feel physically when I'm being so bad and I love the way I feel when I'm doing CRON. I love that light, thin feeling. I'm so much happier when I'm doing CRON and I know that food does not make me happy, but when I let myself indulge once, then I get the taste of sugar and bad food back on my tongue and it's an addictive thing. I get to where I HAVE to have it and I get so desperate. Then after I eat it, I'm so mad at myself and I resolve that I must fast the next day, then the next day comes and I don't feel like fasting anymore, so I eat. Then I feel guilty for eating because I was supposed to fast and I feel like I blew it, so the cycle starts all over again. I'm so mad at myself. I can't keep treating my body this way. It's screaming out for me to stop. Hopefully tomorrow I can do it. I need to find some CRON articles to read to get me really motivated. I can do it! I must do it! I'm tired of being fat and lethargic and feeling guilty all the time about what I eat. I'm tired of being obsessed with food.

As a side note, I thought of you today, April because I was on cafepress.com and I found a t-shirt that says "I'd rather be calculating nutritional needs". I know how much you love to do that!!!! Here's the link: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/nutrition/humor/-

Ugh...fell off the wagon

I have had a hard time yesterday and today. I was doing so well with CRON and I had lost weight. Then I went out with a male friend of mine (he's not a boyfriend, we're just really good friends) and he made a remark about how I seem to be getting "thicker". I know he didn't mean it in a bad way. He's not American and I don't think he quite understands how American women are about weight and body image. I was so embarrassed and I thought I was going to cry. I was so angry at him and so sad and depressed about my weight that I went out to the store and bought chocolate and raisins and cashews and had a binge. Oh, I had popcorn too. This morning I woke up with a headache and I was so depressed and I felt so fat. I got on the scale and yikes! 172! I was 167.4 before. This made me even more depressed. I told my mom about what my friend had said and she tried to encourage me, but I didn't feel like doing anything except eating, so I made a chocolate cake and got peanut butter soy ice cream and had that, then I made pasta and ate a big bowl of that. Now I am miserably stuffed and I feel like crap. I know in my head that food doesn't make me happy, but I can't seem to believe it sometimes. I was so much happier when I was doing well on CRON.

Well, I fell down, but I know I have to pick myself back up. This episode is not going to stop me and my friend is welcome to think I am the fattest person in the world and that's okay. It will not control me anymore. It doesn't matter what people think. They will see as I progress with CRON and become healthier and thinner and happier. As of this moment, I am back on the wagon and I will not allow depression and anger at myself to get me down and keep me off track. I am forgiving myself.

(body speaking to Brianna): "Brianna, I forgive you for what you did to me and I thank you that you are going to take such good care of me in the future by giving me optimally nutritious foods in the amounts I need (not the amounts I think I need, but the amounts I really need). It's okay that you took a break from CRON for two days. Thank you for getting back on track now because I LOVE it when you do CRON."

After all, life is too precious to waste it obsessing over food. I have too much important stuff to do to shorten my life by stuffing myself to death with crappy junk food. There is research and studying to do, there are people to help, there is a world to improve. I must be at my best to accomplish everything God put me here to do.

Okay, I feel better now. Best of wishes to all you CRONies out there and I hope you all are doing wonderful. Life is great, isn't it?

Today was a great day. The weather was perfect and I went rollerblading in the morning. In the afternoon I took a bike ride and washed my car.

It's really funny because I had my "splurge" last night -- the raw chocolate tart that I know was fattening, but when I weighed myself this morning I had LOST a half pound since yesterday. And I weighed myself after eating 1000 grams of watermelon, so I really lost more weight than that! Go figure. At least I didn't gain weight from eating a dessert!

So anyhow, here's what I ate today:
Breakfast: watermelon (1000 grams- 300 cals)
handful of raw nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, walnuts, cashews)
Lunch: big salad (sunflower sprouts, clover sprouts, lettuce, lentil sprouts, carrots, dulse, onions, 1/2 an avocado, olives, lemon/flax oil/olive oil dressing)
Snack: an apple
Dinner: sauteed veggies (onion, garlic, cauliflower, green beans, zucchini)
1 cup pinto beans

Random stuff (I can't think of a title)...

Well, I went out yesterday and got a kitchen scale so I could start measuring my food exactly. When I got home and opened the box, it was obvious that someone had returned it. I took it out and found that it was calibrated wrong. Instead of being set on zero, it was set on 3 1/2 pounds! So I have to return it. It really wasn't what I wanted anyhow. I want a digital scale instead of a cheap little thing from Walmart that's not even calibrated right.

I weighed myself this morning since I'm home for the weekend. I weigh 167.4, so I've lost 1.2 pounds in the past week and 2.6 pounds since starting CRON a week and half ago.

I don't know an exact calorie count for today because I'm going out tonight with my mom and some friends. We're going to a raw vegan restaurant. So far today, I've had:

Breakfast: watermelon (1000 grams-300 cals)
Lunch: an apple and a handful of mixed raw nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, cashew, pecan, walnuts)
Snack: 2 pears
Dinner (planned): flax crackers with guacamole and salsa
raw vegan dark chocolate tart

The dessert is my splurge for the week. I know it's going to be fattening, but that's okay. I only do it once in an rare while.

I ate my healthy oils!!!

I had some flax oil and olive oil on my salad tonight. I feel like my body is thanking me. I feel satisfied in a different kind of way. I can't explain it. So anyhow, here's what I had today:
Breakfast: 3 oranges and 2 Brazil nuts
Lunch: fresh fruit (1/2 cup cantaloupe, 1/2 cup honeydew, 1/2 cup pineapple, 1 cup grapes)
salad (2 cups spinach, 1/2 cup chickpeas)
Snack: an apple
Dinner: large salad (sunflower sprouts, clover sprouts, lentil sprouts, romaine, carrots, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli, olives, onion, and dulse with lemon/flax oil/olive oil dressing) and 1/2 ear raw sweet corn
I have no idea how many calories this was because I didn't add it up today. I have been using Cron-o-Meter, but today I didn't use it because I ate dinner at our buffet at work and wasn't able to measure and because all the different kinds of sprouts aren't on Cron-o-Meter.

Another wonderful day!

Today was so beautiful. I live in West Palm Beach, FL, so just about every day is gorgeous here. It was so sunny and I was able to be outside a little bit.

CRON is going well. I'm still baffled at how I can be so full all the time when I'm only eating 1200 calories per day. 'Tis mystery to me. I guess it's good that I'm not starving all the time, but it's also a little frustrating because I have trouble even fitting in 1200 calories. If I only ate when I was hungry, I'd be much lower than 1200 calories, but I don't want to take this too fast. 1200 is low enough. I figured out that it's almost 40% CR. Gosh!!! Why am I not hungry? I know I have to be burning more than 1200 calories per day.

So stuffed!

Gosh! I'm just so stuffed, even though I'm only eating 1200 cals/day. I didn't even quite make it to 1200 today. I think it's all the fiber. I just don't get hungry. It's amazing. I actually wish I would get more hungry. I didn't do as well today with my vitamins and minerals as I did over the weekend because I'm back at school and I'm not able to do my own cooking. Basically, I eat from the cafeteria or eat raw fruits and veggies in my room. The hardest for me is vitamin E. I can never seem to get enough of it. I'm probably not eating enough fat. Well, I'll keep on playing with it and experimenting!

I told my mom about CRON this weekend. I wasn't going to tell her. I was going to wait and see if she would notice, but I was so excited I couldn't help it. She was actually really interested and wanted me to show her some articles on it. I also downloaded Cron-o-Meter on her computer.

Doing Great!

Everything is going well and I'm so proud of myself because I've gotten my calorie intake up to around 1200/day. I'm also getting my vitamin and mineral levels almost up to optimal, which excites me. I'm really surprised that I haven't been losing weight really fast because usually when I start "being good", even when I wasn't doing CRON, I would lose about five pounds in the first week. But I guess it's good that I'm not losing weight really fast because then I wouldn't get the life extension benefits that I want to get.

It's sort of hard doing CRON at school because I'm a vegan and I also can't have gluten. Basically the only thing I can eat in the cafeteria is the salad bar and I won't eat any salad dressing because they all have so many calories! So I basically eat dry salad with some beans and fruit when I'm at school and it's often hard for me to fit in enough calories.

The Beginning of My Journey

I've known about CRON for a while now. The first time I ever read about Roy Walford and his studies was a few years ago when I read Harvey Diamond's Fit for Life books. I am almost 20 years old and I decided to start on my CRON journey. I have, in the past couple years, been struggling with food addiction and bingeing and have, as a result, gained a lot of weight. I am 5 feet, 7 inches, and I weigh 170 pounds. Though the thought of weight loss attracts me to CRON, the thing I most like about it is that I will improve my health. I know I cannot go on stuffing myself till I'm sick and stay healthy. My body may be able to deal with it for a little while, but then, I'm going to end up in ill health. I also think that CRON will help me to get over my food addiction.

I am so excited and already feeling so much happier. This is the third day for me and I am so motivated to continue. I find that I'm not thinking about food nearly as much, nor do I want to eat apart from true hunger. I am able to enjoy other aspects of life so much more. Nature is more beautiful to me and my attitude is so much more optimistic. I am just so happy!!!

My only concern so far is that I am cutting calories too quickly. I think I need to be eating at least 1200 calories per day, but I just do not get hungry. Yesterday I ended up eating about 750 calories and today I'm doing a little better, but I'm not sure what to do because I don't want to eat when I'm not hungry. My metabolism is slowing down and this morning I was feeling rather weak, but I just don't get hungry. My body can feel satisfied for an insane amount of time on a small portion of food. This is not something new for me; it's been going on for a long time. I just don't get hungry like a normal person. Any advice would be appreciated.

Anyhow, I'm pretty healthy right now. My blood pressure is 112/80 and my cholesterol is 113. My blood pressure used to be 140/80 when I was 13 or 14, but it went down when I started eating healthier. I'm really excited to get even healthier and hopefully extend my lifespan. There's just so much I want to do on this earth!